Q'n'A#4: Bimbos and gender crisis

“Is this thing on yet?” came Bumblebee’s voice from behind Speedy’s face on the screen.
“Why  so impatient?” he asked, turning his head slightly to glance at her, then turned back to the camera. “It’s on” he announced, going to his spot on the couch between Aqualad and Mas and Menos.
“You took forever” Bumblebee accused from beside Aqualad.
“Hello, guys!” Aqualad said loudly enough to shut any response Speedy had to say. Mas and Menos butted in with their simultaneous ‘Hola!’. Aqualad continued. “We’re Titans East, Bumblebee here is our lovely leader…” he motioned his hands in her direction and she bowed her head slightly. “… and today we’re going to answer some of the most frequent questions we keep getting from you. Enjoy!” he finished with a smile.
The screen turned white, displaying the first question.

Q1: How do you communicate with Mas and Menos?

“Well” Bumblebee started reluctantly glancing at Aqualad. He shrugged slightly. “We just talk to them. They understand us. It’s on our end that there’s a problem.”
“They’re just lazy asses!” Speedy said. “They speak English, just don’t feel like using it.”
Mas and Menos screamed at him something, getting up from their seats.
“Oh yeah?!” Speed  also got up. “Then explain to me why you’re all fuss now if you don’t get a thing we say?!”

First Menos said something, then Mas, both blustering their fists. Speedy turned to look at the camera.

“Can you believe those little shits? They think they can stand a chance against me.”

Mas asked Menos something , Menos answered then they both nodded and let out wild yells, throwing themselves at Speedy and tackling the shocked Titan down to the floor. Sounds of a battle spread out including punching, beating, banters, curses, screams of pain and stating quick rules (Speedy was obviously bitten by one of the twins).

Bumblebee sighed heavily. “They’re at it again.”

Aqualad murmured some answer, still looking at the three battling teammates, then spoke suddenly.

“I just realized they are all red” he glanced at Bumblebee, who raised her eyebrows.
“Huh. Never thought about it.”
“Over three years together and we just realized it” Aqualad shook his head slowly in self-disapproval.

Q2,3,4: Aqualad, are you in a relationship?/Are you looking for a relationship?/Are you gay?

Aqualad cleared his throat (the battle moved behind the couch somehow and was still moving).
“No, I’m not in a relationship. That is, unless Raven feels like enlightening me” he added with a smirk and winked to the camera. Bumblebee snickered.
“No, I’m not gay, and no, I’m not looking for a relationship. Unless with Raven” he winked again, earning another giggle form Bumblebee. “Seriously, call me, we’ll see where we’re going.” He shrugged.

Q5: Aqualad, are you sure you’re not gay?

“Yes, I’m sure” he nodded. “Saw Speedy naked once. Didn’t thrill me.“ He cut the air with his hand for emphasis. “Actually scared. And scarred” he added in thought.
“Dude!” Speedy said from the floor, holding the twins by their heads (the battle came back in front of the sofa). “Not cool! What kind of advertisement are you making for the ladies?”
“You mean your bimbos?” Bumblebee spoke with her eyebrows raised.
“They’re not- HEY!” he yelled glancing at Menos, who was now hanging from his wrist by his jaws stuck in it. “I thought I said NO BITING!” Mas yelled at that, kicking Speedy on ankle and the boys took off with their super speed. Speedy jumped a few times on one leg and then sat on the couch next to Aqualad.
“Little cheaters.”

Q6: Aqualad, is there any way of having you for one date/one night? Please say YES ;(

Bumblebee was slowly shaking her head in disapproval while Aqualad simply chuckled.
“Sorry, but no. I don’t do one night stands-...”
“But I’m all yours, ladies” Speedy cut in, winking to the camera.
“STDs are extra.” Bumblebee muttered.
“I heard ya!”
“Good.” She smiled at him.
“As I was saying” Aqualad continued. “No one night stands. And again, no girlfriend. Unless-…!” he pointed a finger.
“Unless you’re Raven” Bumblebee finished.
“Thank you, Bee” Aqualad said, crossing his arms on his chest.
“Seriously, hon, call him” she continued.
“No! Call me!” Speedy hollered, pushing Aqualad’s face.
“What do you think you're doing!”
“I’m serious! Why would she want you and not me?” the archer asked, suddenly laying off from Aqualad’s face.
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I’m not a narcissistic douche?”
“No, the answer is even simpler. Aqualad’s hotter than you” Bumblebee declared with a shrug. Speedy gasped, clutching his chest theatrically.
“This cannot be!” He then turned his face to the camera. “Pick me, Raven! I’m more experienced than fish boy here!”
“In getting STDs?” Bumblebee asked sarcastically.  
“Hey! I’m using my own condoms” Speedy declared.
“And in the past year we only got one angry girl saying she’s pregnant with him.” Aqualad said. Bumblebee looked at him incredulously.
“Which she wasn’t” Speedy added with emphasis.
“Are you seriously  defending him?” she asked Aqualad, totally disregarding Speedy.
“Sorry, testicular solidarity.” The teen shrugged. Speedy pumped his fist up, hearing this, and Bumblebee sighed heavily and looked at the camera.
“So in the name of the ovarian solidarity. Girls, don’t call Speedy. And Raven, you’re allowed not to call Aqualad. Bastard betrayed me.”
Both boys gasped upon hearing this.
“Just kidding, call him.” Aqualad theatrically sighed  and pushed some ‘sweat’ off his brow in relief.

Q7: Bumblebee, how do you put up with having four guys under your command and without any female company? PS Be brave, you’re awesome for just doing this alone!

“Thank you” she said. “I gotta say it’s kinda like babysitting. I mean, the twins are still kids, and they can really give us some hard times.” She glanced over to Aqualad, to see him nodding his head slowly in agreement.
“They sometimes don’t want to go to sleep or take their baths…”
“Usually it ends up in me spraying them with cold water” Aqualad shrugged.
“This lad is always so helpful” Bumblebee reached to pat Aqualad’s head. “He’s kind of my right hand over here.”
“Teacher’s pet” Speedy muttered, earning a raised eyebrow from Aqualad.
“Speedy’s no help at all. He adds to all my problems by getting his bimbos here.”
“I love my bimbos!” Speedy exclaimed.
“Yeah, well, I hate ‘em. I want them far away, as far as possible.”
“I live here too, ya know!” he argued.
“We already had this conversation, guys.” Aqualad tried. “Let’s stick to the question.”
“Right, so, the missions aren’t the worst. They actually listen to me. It’s at home they turn into a bunch of little monsters.”
“Hey!” Boys yelled at her outraged.
“What?! You’re always fighting, either you two or the three red heads, you don’t clean after yourselves-….”
“Hey!” Aqualad yelled.
“OK, maybe you do, I dunno anymore.” She sighed heavily. „And I really can’t stand all the masculine behaviors. You boys are killing me with your burping, farting and sex jokes.”
Speedy chuckled. “You just say that, ‘cause you burped yourself the other night.”
Bumblebee looked remorsefully at the camera. “It was the day I realized they’re turning me into a man.”
“She totally freaked that night” Aqualad said.
“Yeah, it looked like this.” Speedy added and the frame changed for the view of the doors to Bumblebee’s room. Aqualad went into view, reached his hand to knock, but stopped to turn on the camera and ask.
“Are you serious with the camera?”
“Yup, perfect blackmail material.” Speedy’s voice said.
“You were supposed to watch the twins. And you’re not using this video for your benefit.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’m gonna show my blackmail material on you.”
“You ain’t got any shit on me!”
“Are you sure?” A sly smile made its way to Aqualad’s lips. “I’m pretty sure Bee or even Robin would be very interested in knowing whom you were meeting few months back. Repeatedly, might I add…”
“Fine, you win! But I’m still recording this.”
“Shush!” Aqualad put a finger to his mouth. Some muttering could be heard from inside the room.
“Who’s she talking to?” he asked intrigued, then decided to knock. “Bee? You okay?” No answer came, only muttering became a little louder.
“Bee?” Aqualad peered into the room. “Can we come in?” Again, she didn’t answer. Aqualad glanced at Speedy and gave the signal to go in. The room was dark, and nothing could be really seen. Bumblebee’s voice could be heard.
“… don’t want to be a man. I’m a woman, can’t be a man. Those males are changing me, turning me into one of them…!”
“Bee?” Aqualad asked again, audibly starting to freak out himself. “I’m turning the light on” he announced and the room became bright again, showing that Bumblebee was on her bed, curled into an embryonic position, her hands covering her ears.
“… they mess, they smell, they make fart noises and curse, and they keep on fighting, they don’t clean after themselves, and they’re getting some sluts into my house, and…”
“I think that’s about you” Aqualad said, after turning to Speedy again.
“Goodness me!” Speedy said innocently, earning an eye roll from the other Titan.
“Bee, it’s me, Aqualad. We’re friends, remember?”
“… and I like to do my hair, and my nails…” her voice cracked.
“Is she crying?” Speedy asked.
“You can do your nails whenever you want…” Aqualad told her, ignoring Speedy’s idiotic question.
“I’m a woman” she sniffed. “I was born a girl. I like girly things. Daddy called me ‘princess’. Princesses don’t burp…”
“C’mon, Bee, burping doesn’t make you a guy” Aqualad put a hand on Bumblebee’s shoulder.
“Yeah, it’ kinda natural reaction of your organism.” Speedy interjected. She started unexpectedly and then sat up straight and began her rant.
“You did this to me!” she yelled with remains of tears in her eyes. Both boys jumped on the sudden scream.
“We did?” Aqualad asked doubtfully.
“I am a woman! Women don’t go and check out other women on the street! Or in the groceries! I’m straight god damn it!”
“But I enjoyed our trip to the groceries and checking the girls out with you, it was fun!” Speedy tried to defend.
“No! Veto! I object! I require, no, I DEMAND some female company! I don’t want to take in your male behavior, you… you… dirty males!”
“Dirty?” Aqualad sniffed his armpits carefully. “I showered three times today.”
“I do not, I repeat, I do not agree to turn into a man! I am a full blown woman, and I plan on staying a woman! You won’t make me into one of you!”
“Who’s making you again?” Speedy asked.
“You are!!!”
“She went nuts, can I start panicking now?” Speedy asked Aqualad.
“Go ahead, I started a while ago!”
“I want you stinky males out of here! OUT!“
“Run!” Aqualad yelled and the camera turned and began to shake furiously, showing the corridors of the East Tower.

The scene of the Titans East (or rather the older three) returned.
“I took the next day off to just go to the beauty parlor doin’ girly stuff, then shopping, all that.”
“And the next day it turned out to be a heavy PMS case” Speedy grinned.
“So, Aqualad, who was he meeting few months ago?” she asked casually. Aqualad opened his mouth to answer, but Speedy cut him off with apologies. The remaining two chuckled.
“Oh, I’m gonna like this one.” Bumblebee said with a smile.

The frame changed, but the three of them were still sitting on the sofa.
“That’s it for now, guys” Bumblebee said. “Thanks for watching and send us more questions, we’ll gladly answer.”
“And, Raven, call me.” Aqualad made a phone gesture with his hand.
“And after you do, come visit us” Speedy added. “Since the fateful burp-day Bee started to collect dolls.” He covered his mouth from the other two’s view and whispered. “I think she also talks to them.”
“You know she can still hear you, right?” Aqualad whispered to him.
“I’m just trying not to lose my femininity.” Bumblebee defended herself, folding her arms and ignoring their whispering. “Dolls are girly. And it’s not my fault I talk to them, a beautician once a week just isn’t enough. By the way, I’m blowin’ kisses to ya, Lakisha, you make my life less miserable.”
“We all owe you, Lakisha” Speedy exclaimed dramatically. “Call me” he winked.
“Don’t, he’ll sell ya some blue waffle” Bee warned.
“I told you, I don’t have STDs! I check myself twice a month!”
“That’s nice.” She smiled a fake smile. Seeing Speedy’s vein growing unhealthily large on his forehead, Aqualad chuckled.
“I think we’re done for now.  Bye!” he waved. “Oh, and Raven, don’t forget to call me” he added in a hushed tone, puckered up in a mock kiss and winked, the movie stopping then.