Q'n'A#20: The Titans Trade

The camera showed Raven in her room, packing her suitcase. Beast Boy walked in from the hallway, leaning on her door.

"So" he began. "Cyborg left the kids at your mom's."

"Great" she said not glancing at him.

Beast Boy sighed. "Raven... You can't go" he said tearfully. Raven ignored him. "You can't do this to me..."

She glanced at him through her shoulder raising her eyebrow. "Why?" He didn't respond and she turned her full attention to him. "Beast Boy. You can't possibly be jealous." She said it somehow amused.

"I'm not, I'm just worried is all..." he kicked his leg in the air, avoiding her eyes.

"Empath" Raven reminded him with a sigh. He groaned.

"Well, your empathy sucks balls or you're imagining things, 'cause I ain't jealous Rae. I just..."

"Don't want me to live with Aqualad under the same roof." She finished for him with a knowing smirk.

"I wanted to say, I'll miss you." He finally looked up at her, looking her in the eyes. "It's four months, Rae."

Her features softened. "I'll be calling" she promised, coming back to packing. "Besides, I'm sure guys will make you busy."

"I'm more concerned about Star" he confessed. "When you deny her, it's me she's dragging to the mall, y'know?"

"Welcome to my world" Raven said with a scoff.

"Rae..." Beast Boy spoke after a few long seconds of silence. She hummed to prompt him to speak. "Just... You know you can tell me, like, anything, right?"

Raven turned to look at him, now listening to him curiously. She nodded.

"Promise me you'll tell me, whenever something's wrong or just buggin' you 'kay? No matter the hours."

The tiniest of smiles apeared on Raven's face. That's when the frame froze. Q: BB, why exactly are you crushing on Raven? A: Bitch please look at that Mona Lisa smile. You know guys, just because you can't see us being close doesn't mean we aren't Oh, that reminds me: best regards to all the Bae fans! Hope you enjoy da feels!   Unfreeze.

"I will" she promised.

"You promise?" he asked. She rolled her eyes putting her right hand up and manging to keep the slightly amused smile on her lips.

"My right hand to whichever god, I swear I'll call you."

Frame change. They all sat in the car. Cyborg behind the wheel, Robin in the passenger's seat, Raven behind him. Next to her Beast Boy and Starfire.

"Alright! The kids are at Arella's, Rae's packed and we're going to have a sex addict in our team! Let's do it!" Cyborg exclaimed overly excited.

"I believe friend Speedy denied friend Bumble Bee's accusations, did he not?" Starfire inquired.

"Yeah, I don't think she's all that far from the truth, Star" Robin said. The alien girl huffed. Cyborg started the car. They all sat in silence for a few moments before Starfire broke it.

"Are you excited?" she asked Raven cheerfully.

"Sure" Raven deadpanned, looking through the window.

"What will you do when you finally see friend Aqualad?" Freeze frame: Q: Raven, you're supposed to be empath, how come you seem to be oblivious to BB's feelings toward you? Unfreeze.

Raven smirked. "I'll jump him."

"Oh come on...!" Beast Boy whispered loudly, taking his head in his hands and pressed it on the back of Cyborg's seat. Then he began whimpering quietly. Freeze frame: A: Because fvck you, that's why Unfreeze.

A humming and soft tugging on guitar's strings sounded. Then the camera view showed the T-car driving down the road with the sound of a rattle in the background. Then the powerful female vocal began singing. The images of the T-car driving and the views out of the car's windows were shown along with all the credits for the movie. Sometimes they showed the view from the car's cam: Beast Boy stealing short glances of Raven, who paid him no mind.

Why did love put a gun in my hand?
Why did love put a gun in my hand?
Why did love put a gun in my hand?
In my bed, in my head, in my hand.

Was it for redemption?
Was it for revenge?
Was it for the bottle?
Was it for the ledge?
Was it for the thrill of pushing my hope to the edge?

Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?
Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?

Why did love put a knife in my heart?
Why did love open up my scars?
Why did love put a knife in my heart?
In my bed, in my head, in my heart.

Was it for redemption?
Was it for revenge?
Was it for the bottle?
Was it for the ledge?
Was it for the thrill of pushing my hope to the edge?
Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?

Why did love, why did love, why did love
Put a gun in my hand (why did love, why did love, why did love)
Put a gun in my hand (why did love, why did love)
Why did love put a gun in my hand?

Woohoo, in my hand

Here a short solo of a harmonica resounded.

Oh! Was it for redemption?
Was it for revenge?
Was it for the bottle?
Was it for the ledge?
Was it for the thrill of pushing my hope to the edge?
Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?
Ooh, in my hand.
Why did love, why did love put a gun in my hand?

The car stopped in the huge underground garage and the team spilled out of the vehicle. The eastern team was just walking out of the elevator. But before anyone could say anything, Mas and Menos rushed out into the garage and straight to Starfire. One was handing her flowers, the other chocolates. They also handed her a hand written card each. She blushed and smiled sheepishly, taking the gifts from them.

"M-muchas gracias" she told them. The twins' eyes sparkled.

"Imposible!" Mas, being the one at the bottom, said.

Menos answered something from the top. The boys both turned beet red and ran away. The Titans chuckled. Bumblebee, Aqualad and Speedy walked closer to the original team.

"Sorry for that, they still hadn't grown out of it" Bee spoke, giving Starfire a hug.

"That is not a problem, friend" the alien assured her. They all said their hellos. Finally Raven and Aqualad stood in front of each other. They just stared at one another, Aqualad smirking warmly, Raven gained a sparkle in her eyes.

"Hi Raven" he said.

"Hi" she reciprocated the smile, pushing her black hair behind her ear.

"You look nice."

"Thanks."

Silence.

"Oh, for Christ's sake, stop acting like teenagers!" Bumblebee laughed. Aqualad cleared his throat on that, while Raven hung her head sheepishly and blushed furiously.

"Raven, weren't you about to do something?" Starfire reminded her.

"Oh, right!" she seemed to regain her usual composure. She stepped closer to Aqualad, grabbed his shoulders and jumped high to put her legs around his hips. He instictively put his arms under her legs to secure her. Raven blushed.

"Hi again" she said.

"Well, hello" Aqualad replied still in a tiny shock.

"I told Star I'd jump you when I see you so..."

"Ooh!" Now he understood. "I like that!" he confessed, his hands wandering to her behind. Raven narrowed her eyes at him.

"Are you seriously copping a feel of my ass in front of everyone?"

"I'm a simple man, Raven" he grinned at her. Freeze frame. Q: Aqualad, what can you possibly see in Raven?! A:  Let's see. She's pretty, funny, mysterious, hot (her breast don't follow gravity rules, remember?)... Unfreeze. "Your eyes are purple." He realized suddenly. Freeze frame. And that. You seriously have to see them from the short distance, her eyes are magical. Unfreeze.

"Alright, that's enough!" Cyborg screamed taking Raven under her armpits and dragging her away from him.

"Thank you!" Beast Boy said.

"Geez, someone had to do that..." Robin sighed with relief.

Cyborg's face was now inches from Aqualad's. "Listen now, Water Boy. I dunno what your intentions are with my lil sissy, but I ain't gonna let that happen!"

"Oh, you seriously did not just call me your 'sissy' again" Raven muttered menacingly.

"You spat on my face..." Aqualad spoke with a frown.

"Sorry!" Cyborg yelled, still inches from his face, spitting even more. "Robin, take it out!"

Robin immediately rushed to the T-car and opened the trunk. He pulled out a suitcase. Freeze frame. Q: What's in the suitcase?!??!?! Unfreeze.

"Oooh, what's that?" Bumblebee asked. Raven froze and took Aqualad by his forearm. He shot her a quizzical look.

"That, my dear, is the protection for my sissy" Cyborg introduced before nodding at Robin.

"Stop calling me sissy" Raven ordered while Robin nodded back at Cyborg and opened the suitcase.Raven inhahed with horror in her eyes.

"Yeah, but what is that thing?" Bumblebee asked with a frown.

"Looks kind of armor-y..." Speedy noticed.

"The chastity belt...!" Raven finally choked out.  Freeze frame. There you go! Unfreeze. Aqualad looked at Raven while Bumble Bee and Speedy looked at Cyborg, and all three asked incredulously.

"Seriously?!"

Raven looked at Beast Boy. "You said you got rid of the design!"

He shrugged. "Can't help Cy's genius I guess."

Now Raven looked at Cyborg and Robin, she looked like a trapped animal. "You can't make me wear that. That's inhuman."

"Don't be scared, Raven, it's for your own good" Robin lectured her.

Cyborg and he both began walking closer to her. Raven kept on stepping back, shaking her head.

"You obviously don't know what's good for me" she said. "Chastity belts are highly unhygienic... And uncomfortable... they get rusty..."

"Friend Cyborg, Robin" Starfire spoke. "I believe you are overreacting. Friend Raven is more than capable of taking care of herself." Freeze frame. Q: Raven, u got your V-card still, right? A: Yes, and I'm pretty darn proud of it! ... Okay, maybe not so proud...  Unfreeze.

The boys stopped, exchanging looks. Cyborg shook his head and Robin scoffed. "Star, how long did it take you to finally succumb to your hormones and give me everything you had?"

Starfire's jaw dropped, she seemed outraged.

"Exactly" Cyborg said. "I'm not going to make the same mistake again. Raven is going to stay..." he turned back to Raven, only to see she's gone. And so was Aqualad. "Where'd she go?" he blinked.

"I have a better question. Where is Aqualad?" Beast Boy chimed in.

"Let's just try his room" Speedy shrugged.

Frame change.
Aqualad's room.
Dark portal opened and Raven and Aqualad walked into the room.

"Alright, what's with the belt?" Aqualad asked scratching his head. "I thought he was joking!"

"So did I. Obviously we were wrong" Raven concluded and began walking back and forth. "After Starfire began sleeping with Robin, Cyborg became obsessed with my virginity. I mean literally. If it was possible, he would put me into a full on armor and the muslim burqa!"

"Sound unhealthy" Aqualad stated.

"Oh, you don't want to know what he did to a guy who threw one pick up line at me."

"What did he do?"

Raven stopped in her tracks. "Let's just say the poor guy ended up in a coma and Cyborg got sued for assault." Aqualad gulped loudly.

"So what will you do?"

"I don't know." She resumed her nervous stroll. "I don't want to wear that thing. I don't suppose he'll give me a key to it. Oh, Azar, how do I get out of this? Why can't they just...! I'm an adult, you know? A grown up person. I can control my carnal urges. Plus, I'm sure you'll remain a perfect gentleman. And yes, your copped feel is forgiven on the condition you'll never do that again without my permission."

"Okay?" he agreed with audible hesitation.

She groaned. "I swear, I'll kill myself rather than let them put that thing on me! They won't get me alive, I promise to all the gods that listen to me right now, I'll-...!"

"Are you crying?" Aqualad asked with his brows raised. Raven sniffed and turned her face away from his sight.

"No..." she lied ineptly. Aqulad walked close to her and turned her face to him. Few tears rolled down her pale cheeks. He cupped her face and smiled gently.

"Raven. I won't let them hurt you." She sniffed.

"Promise?"

"To all the gods that listen."

She smiled back at him. "I very much rather lose my virginity right now than wear that chastity belt..." she confessed. Aqualad chuckled.

"Rave, that's wrong!" She looked up at him with her murderous gaze. "Oh my god, you're serious!" Aqualad realized, blushing furiously.

Suddenly there was a knock on his door.

"Lad, you there?" Bumblebee asked through the door.

"Screw him!" Cyborg said irked. "We know she's in there with you, pretty boy! Now give her away and no one will get hurt!"

Raven froze in Aqualad's arms.

"Run" he whispered. She didn't say anything. "I'll get their attention."

"Raven, come out or we'll have to use force!" Robin warned.

"Just humor them, girl, come on!" Bumblebee prompted.

"Go" Aqualad whispered and pecked her quickly on the lips. She teleported away.

Frame change.

Raven sat in the laundry room in darkness. She was steadying her breaths and muttering her mantra to calm herself. Suddenly the door opened and the lights turned on to reveal Mas and Menos. Raven froze.

"Que está pasando señorita Raven?" Mas asked.

"I uh..." she stuttered. "We're playing hide and sick. I'm hiding." The boys smiled.

"No se preocupe" Menos said (and then something she didn't understand one bit), Mas nodded his head. They put their dirty uniforms in the basket and waved to her.

"Adiós!" they said in unison and ran away. Raven sighed with relief and resumed muttering her mantra.

Frame change. Raven was still in the laundry room. This time the door opened to reveal Speedy in the threshold. Raven froze again.

"Please don't tell them" Raven whispered to him desperately. Speedy didn't move.

"Give me the panties" he commended, making her frown.
 
"What?" Freeze frame. Q: Speedy, did Raven give you the panties she promised to give you or not? Because she told Aqualad she lied... Unfreeze.

"Your panties. You promised, remember?"

"I don't recall" she lied.

"Okay, I'll forgive you that terrible lie if you give me the ones you're wearing. I'll go away and no one will ever know you're hiding here." He offered, still whispering.

"Ew, Speedy, you're gross" she whispered back. He shrugged then turned his head to the side and yelled.

"She's here!!" Right after that he got a kick in the chest from her.

"Snitch!" she screamed his way running through the hallways.

Frame change. Raven ran into a dead end. She was out of breath. Three shadows cast over her. She turned around, her eyes glassy.
"Please..." she begged. "Don't do this to me..."

"We only want what's best for you, sis" Cyborg said. Raven looked behind him and Robin.

"Beast Boy...?"

"I'm sorry, mama... I'm sorry."

"No...!" Raven shook her head. Suddenly three green starbolts shot at each boy, taking them out. Raven's eyes widened. "Star?"

"Quickly, friend!" Starfire took her hand and they both flew down the corridor.

"Thanks" Raven said gratefully.

"That is not the end yet" the alien princess smiled at her. They were flying straight when suddenly two arms shot out of the side corridor and pulled them in.

"This way!" Aqualad told them, leading to the down floors.

"At least I have allies" Raven said.

Frame change. They made it to the basement. It was dark and dusty, the three coughed a little.

"You don't have much time, Raven" Aqualad said. "The best way out of this is to just wait for them to leave."

"You want me to wait them out?" she asked inredulously.

"Friend Aqualad is correct. We will have to leave soon." Starfire agreed.

"Maybe if you went out, into the city..."

"Not so fast!" Bumblebee's voice cut off Aqualad's. Their eyes widened.

"Bumblebee?" Aqualad asked.

"You're with them!" Raven concluded by the belt which Bee was holding. Aqualad instantaneously blocked Raven from Bumblebee with his arm and prepared himself for a fight.

"But why?" Starfire also took her fighting stance.

"I'm sorry, girl but I got the deal. I'm not gonna resign now." She walked slowly to her victim. Neither Aqualad nor the girls saw Robin come out of the shadows behind Raven and hit a vital point near her neck. Raven fell down, the screen went black.

Frame change to the tower's infirmary. The camera was from Raven's point of view. The first faces she saw were of Aqualad and Starfire, both seemed apologetic.

"They did it, didn't they?" Raven asked them. Aqualad nodded, while Star covered her mouth with her slender fingers and sobbed quietly for the dramatic purposes. Raven sighed heavily. "Here comes nothing." She sat up on the medical bed and looked down at her belt of doom. It was from the same metal as Cyborg's but much thinier and with some glass window she supposed was fingerprint reader or something like that. She raised an eyebrow upon seeing the round sticker with cartoon Robin showing a thumb up, with an inscription ROBIN APPROVES! and below Robin's signature. She looked at Cyborg and Robin incredulously.

"Seriously? Robin approves?" she asked unimpressed.

"I want a mug with that" Bumble Bee said with a smile.

"I want a T-shirt with that" Starfire stated excitedly.

"Take your orders to Beast Boy, it's his art" Robin smiled indicating his teammate with his thumb. Beast Boy smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. Raven looked at him with her eyes narrowed.

"Traitor!" she accused him. He spread his arms.

"What could I have done, Rae?"

"You could've been on my side like Aqualad and Star were." Raven huffed, looking away from him.

"But Rae!" He knelt by her bed. "I did it for us!"

"Us?" She repeated, glancing back at him. "There's no 'us', Beast Boy. Never was, never will be."

"But..." his eyes filled with enormous tears. "I ate the design for you!"

"Oh, stop blaming the poor bean, girl" Bumblebee spoke. "You wear the belt, you'll keep your V-card, and I get to have you in my team instead of that nut head" she indicated Speedy, who huffed like an offended schoolgirl. "Everybody's happy."

"No, not everybody's happy" Raven argued. "I'm very unhappy right now! In fact I'm miserable!"

"Why? What's possibly wrong with the belt?" Cyborg asked her, sure she'll find no flaws of his genius plan to maintain her innocence. She proved him wrong seconds later.

"What's wrong with it? I'll tell you, gladly. For example, how am I supposed to shower in this?"

"It's stainless steel, sis" he replied proudly.

"You missed my point completely but okay" she continued. "What if I have to use the bathroom?"

Cyborg's face became serious and he blinked. "You use the bathroom?"

"Imagine that! I do!"

"You didn't think of the bathroom breaks?" Robin asked in a scolding tone. Cyborg shrugged.

"I guess Bee'll have to open you up and walk to the bathroom with you" he scratched his bald head. Raven groaned.

"Great. So it's not only unhygienic, but I'll have not privacy either. That's wonderful."

"But you'll keep your innocence" Cyborg told her in the gentlest voice he could muster.

"Sure." She shrugged, her tone dripping with venom and sarcasm. "Not that my powers kind of protect that for me but okay, the Big Brother knows better, of course."

Cyborg's eyes sparkled and he hugged Robin. "She understood!" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Nevermind that. I have to pee." She got up from the bed.

Bumblebee squealed. "Wonderful! Our first trip to the bathroom together! Just like middle school!" she pushed Raven out of the room. "Star, let's go!" Starfire smiled and gladly took the invitation.

"Do we really need to?" Raven asked clearly uncomfortable.

"Of course!" Bumblebee squeeked. "Or do you want me to remain a tomboy?"

"God forbid..." Raven muttered.

The girls disappeared from the infirmary.

"Mission accomplished" Cyborg broke the silence.

"Good job" Robin told him. They high-fived.

"You know there's always necking, right?" Speedy hinted. The two froze.

"I have something just for that" Cyborg told Robin.

"Then what are you waiting for, let's get it!" his leader ordered and off they went.

Aqualad, Speedy and Beast Boy remained silent for a long while. The archer finally broke the awkward silence.

"Can someone explain to me why they don't want her to loose her V-card so badly? I mean, she's capable of making her own decisions and-..."

A terrified scream cut his speech short. They all started.

"They got her..." Beast Boy concluded, his voice breaking.

Frame change. Both teams were sitting on the couch in the common room. Starfire was eating the chocolates she got from Mas and Menos. Raven was wearing her chastity armor, that now included a metal bra with the same ROBIN APPROVES stickers on each cup. She sat with her legs crossed and wagged her foot nervously. Star put the box of chocolates in front of her upset friend.

"I look ridiculously" Raven stated before giving in and actually eating one chocolate.

"Come on, Raven..." Cyborg began.

"Don't talk to me" she replied not even glancing at him. She took another chocolate.

"We mean well, you know that..." Robin tried.

"I won't talk to you either" she replied after swallowing what was in her mouth.

"But why?"

She turned at him abruptly and seethed. "Because you approved. Thrice." Robin seemed to shrink in his seat. Cyborg and Beast Boy hunched. "I also won't talk to the traitors, that being Beast Boy, Bumblebee and Speedy." Raven stated almost proudly.

"Maybe I did overdo it with those bra stickers..." Robin admitted.

"You think?" she asked rhetorically.

"I kinda like it" Speedy shrugged.

"You should know what it can do!" Cyborg said lively.

"What does it do?" Raven asked a little scared to know.

"Aqualad, touch the fingerprint reader" Cyborg told him. Aqualad hesitated slightly before making eye contact with Raven. He sighed and took his glove off and touched the reader. It scanned his figerprint, at once turning from blue to red.

"You shall not pass!" The belt spoke in Gandalf's voice. The Speedy burst out laughing.

"It talks!" Starfire giggled.

"Oh. Dear. Azar." she looked up at Aqualad. "I'm wearing Gandalf...!" Now Aqualad couldn't hold in his laughter. Seeing this Raven surged at Cyborg. "Take it off me!"

The scene became chaos. Speedy was laughing like a maniac, Raven was trying to kill Cyborg through the table, Starfire, Aqualad and Beast Boy were trying to stop her while Robin and Bumblebee fought for Cyborg's life. Things began flying around the room, encased in Raven's black aura. Some of them broke in the process. Mas and Menos tried to save what they could and simultaneously yelled for Raven to calm down, in Spanish of course.
Freeze frame. That's why you never piss Raven off... Remain innocent, my lil sissy! You'll thank me one day! Unfreeze.
"Okay! I'm fine!" Raven yelled, the chaos in the room began to slow down. "I'mfineI'mfineI'mfineI'mfineI'mfine!" They let go of her and she sat with a defeated sigh. The screen went black showing a big THE END inscription.

"I have to pee" Raven's voice spoke in an offended tone.